It's Nothing Personal

Today's article is all about relationships and how we interpret them within the musical situations we sometimes find, or willingly put ourselves within. For example purposes, let's take the simple scenario of a band or musical group. After a certain amount of networking and overall work experience within your local music scene, you eventually find yourself getting called to do jobs with projects that may not be your own. Naturally, with enough repetition, re-bookings and time, you find yourself building new relationships with some of these new groups and band leaders, find yourself within new social circles and even catch yourself sipping on a cold one as you count your blessings. Yup, you finally found your tribe, drink up, you deserve it. Then suddenly one day, you notice that the band/group that you thought you were so close with start using another player, or you see one of your newly found band members/friends announce their new project and, while their moody high definition profile picture used on the press release looks great, your position seems to already be filled. Perhaps some of the people you considered to be your musical compadre's, after discussing new musical directions and/or ideas with you for hours on end, simply decide to even utilise many of your suggestions- just without you. Why isn't it you? Is it your playing? Is it your shoes? Was is because you never shared that last gig post or said you actually enjoyed something they didn't? What did you do wrong? The answer my dear friends/readers is this... Unless (like mentioned in previous articles), you're completely irresponsible and possibly don't conduct yourself decently socially, are unprofessional at shows, or are possibly stealing money from the band. Then believe it or not, it's actually nothing personal. No, you didn't do anything wrong, it turns out the gig promoter didn't even share that post you were so worried about and contrary to your own self doubt, even your shoes are pretty cool. The music business is extremely relationship based, but as much as we'd like to believe that we're the only musician our fellow musician friends would hire or want within their bands/groups - we're not. Like every other relationship in life, people have options available to them, so just because you got hurt and possibly weren't someones number one option doesn't mean that you've been replaced or 'screwed over' and best of all, you can actually still be friends. Be supportive, continue to spend time developing these relationships (or atleast relationships that are important to you), focus on your goals instead of festering about how you feel like you were wronged and do your best not to get too emotional about these types of things. If that doesn't help try remember this somewhat cold but true statement, "not everything is about you, it never has been and, it probably never will be". The sooner you accept this, the better, because these situations aren't exclusive to the music industry. Life is short, let whatever baggage you're carrying go and spend as much of it as possible, being happy. @MusiciansMentorPics